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How To Help Your Kid When They Tell You Their Emotions Are All Over The Place

When your child comes to you feeling emotionally overwhelmed, saying their emotions are all over the place, it’s a critical moment for support and understanding. As a parent, your response can significantly influence their ability to manage intense emotions and develop healthy coping skills.

To feel confident helping your child, you want to know how to support your kid as their feelings come up, ensuring they feel heard, supported, and empowered. This is how you understand and regulate their emotions. Let’s explore some practical strategies to guide them through this emotional maze.

Understanding Kids and Their Feelings

Understanding kids and their feelings is a crucial aspect of parenting that helps foster emotional intelligence and resilience in children. Recognizing and validating strong emotions not only strengthens the parent-child relationship but also equips kids with the skills necessary to manage their feelings effectively as they grow. Children experience a wide range of emotions, and they often need guidance to understand and express them appropriately.

The process starts with acknowledging that children’s emotions are real and impactful, regardless of their age. When children feel that their feelings are understood and respected, they are more likely to share their thoughts and emotions openly. This open communication helps parents provide better support and teaches children how to articulate their feelings clearly.

It’s also important for parents to model healthy emotional behaviors. Children learn a lot by observing how adults around them handle emotions. Showing them that it’s okay to express feelings like sadness, anger, or frustration in constructive ways sets a positive example for them to follow.

Before Worrying Too Much, Assess The Easy Things – Is Your Kid In HALT?

Before you dive deep into assessing emotional or behavioral changes in your child, it’s wise to check for simple, everyday causes that might be influencing their mood or actions.

An easy way to remember these common triggers is by using the acronym HALT, which stands for Hungry, Angry, Lonely, and Tired. Each of these states can significantly affect a child’s emotional balance and behavior, and often, addressing these basic needs can alleviate much of the distress they feel.


It’s common knowledge that hunger can affect anyone’s mood, but in children, its effects can be especially pronounced. A lack of adequate nutrition might manifest as irritability, poor focus, or even sadness. Ensuring that your child has regular, nutritious meals and healthy snacks can eliminate lack of energy and unexplained mood swings.


Children, like adults, can feel anger due to various reasons, including unresolved disputes with friends, frustration with schoolwork, or family issues. It’s important to talk to your child openly about what might be bothering them and teach them healthy ways to express and manage their anger. This not only helps resolve their immediate feelings of anger but also aids in developing their emotional intelligence over time.


Loneliness can be deeply painful, and children might not always know how to express this feeling. If a child feels isolated, whether because of a recent move, difficulties in making friends, or because siblings are busy with their own activities, they can feel overlooked or neglected. Creating opportunities for social interaction and spending quality time with your child can help mitigate feelings of loneliness.


Sleep deprivation significantly affects children’s emotional and physical health. A tired child may have a lower tolerance for frustration and find it difficult to manage their emotions. Ensuring your child has a consistent bedtime routine and gets enough sleep each night is crucial for their overall well-being and ability to handle emotional challenges.

Feelings Are Normal – They Go Up & Down For Us All

Understanding that feelings naturally fluctuate is crucial for both children and adults. Emotions are like waves—they rise, peak, and fade away. It’s important for kids to grasp this concept early on, so they can recognize that feeling sad, anxious, or even overly excited at times is a normal part of life.

Teaching children that emotions are temporary and that everyone experiences these ups and downs helps them develop resilience. It normalizes their experiences and reduces the anxiety they might feel about having strong emotions.

Here are a few strategies to help convey this important lesson:

  1. Open Dialogue: Regularly talk about emotions as a normal part of daily life. Share your own feelings and experiences with your children to show them that everyone has emotional highs and lows.

  2. Emotion Labeling: Help your child identify and name their emotions. Understanding what they are feeling and being able to put it into words can demystify intense emotions and make them easier to manage.

  3. Teach Coping Skills: Equip your child with strategies to handle their emotions, such as deep breathing, counting to ten, or talking about what they are feeling. These tools can help them regain control when emotions feel overwhelming.

  4. Storytelling and Books: Use stories or books where characters go through various emotions to discuss how those characters manage and recover from difficult feelings. This can be a powerful way to show that everyone experiences emotional ups and downs.

  5. Routine and Stability: Providing a stable home environment and a consistent routine can help mitigate the intensity of emotional fluctuations. When children feel secure in their daily lives, they are often better able to handle emotional changes.

Get Physical – 10 Ways To Shift Your Kid’s Feelings

Physical activity is a fantastic way to help children manage their emotions. Moving the body can shift moods, release stress, and improve overall well-being. Here are 15 engaging and fun ways to get your child moving, each designed to help shift their feelings and channel energy in positive directions:

  1. Yoga for Kids

    Introduce simple yoga poses that are designed for children. Yoga can help reduce anxiety, improve concentration, and stabilize emotions.

  2. Jump Rope

    Skipping rope is an easy, fun, and effective way to get the heart pumping. It can be a quick activity to change a mood or start the day energetically.

  3. Sports

    Playing sports like soccer, basketball, or tennis can be a great way to relieve stress and connect with others, which can be particularly helpful for managing emotions.

  4. Animal Walks

    Have fun with animal walks, such as bear crawls, frog jumps, or crab walks. These playful movements can lighten the mood and are a creative way to get some exercise.

  5. Gardening

    Engaging in gardening can be surprisingly physical. Digging, planting, and weeding offer physical activity and a profound sense of accomplishment and connection to nature.

  6. Hula Hooping

    Challenge your child to a hula hooping contest. It’s a joyful way to engage the body and can quickly shift a child’s focus from negative feelings.

  7. Obstacle Courses

    Create an obstacle course in your backyard or living room. This activity promotes problem-solving and provides a full-body workout that can shift negative emotions to feelings of triumph. Give Kong Academy parkour classes a try if this sounds like something your kiddo will love.

  8. Swimming

    Swimming is not only refreshing but also a great exercise for the whole body. It can help shift mood quickly, offering a change of scenery and pace.

  9. Tag or Chase Games

    Simple games like tag or any variant of chase can be played almost anywhere and are excellent for quick bursts of high energy and laughter.

  10. Rock Climbing

    Indoor or outdoor rock climbing challenges the body and mind, providing a sense of achievement that can transform emotions positively.

Read The Room – How Is Your Kid Doing After Exercising?

After your child engages in physical exercise, it’s important to “read the room,” or in this case, observe your child’s mood and behavior to understand how they’re feeling post-activity. This can give you valuable insights into how different types of physical activities affect their emotional and physical state:

Observe Physical Signs

Look for physical signs that indicate how your child is feeling. Are they looking more relaxed? Is their breathing steady or still heavy? Physical signs of relaxation and decreased stress levels often include a calmer demeanor, a relaxed body posture, and a smiling face. Conversely, signs of discomfort or exhaustion might include excessive fatigue, difficulty breathing, or lethargy.

Monitor Emotional Responses

Pay attention to your child’s emotional state after they finish exercising. Are they seeming more cheerful, energized, or proud of their accomplishments? Physical activity can significantly improve mood due to the release of endorphins, the body’s natural mood lifters. However, if they seem frustrated or upset, it might indicate that the activity was too challenging or not enjoyable for them.

Ask Open-Ended Questions

Engage your child in conversation about how they feel after the activity. Asking open-ended questions can help you gather more detailed feedback. For example, you might ask, “How do you feel after riding your bike?” or “What did you like best about our game of tag?”

This not only helps you understand their feelings but also encourages them to self-reflect on their emotional and physical state. Teaching your child to assess their own feelings and reactions after exercising can be a powerful tool for emotional regulation.

When your child expresses emotional turmoil, start by listening with empathy, validate their feelings, and guide them through healthy coping mechanisms. These steps create a supportive environment where they can learn to manage their heightened emotions effectively.

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